Thursday, 31 December 2009

Control

Anton Corbijn, 2007

What a dull movie this is. You don't get any explanation as to why these people wanted to be in a band, what the music meant to them or anyone else, what Curtis's motivation was for writing, what the emotional content or basis of his relationships were, nothing.

There's a bit after he leaves Debbie that starts to move, but is quickly snuffed out by the clumsy 'voices during hypnosis' bit.

Heavy handed, superficial, uninvolving. It feels like a movie made by a photographer. Imagine if Joy Division had never existed and this was just a piece of fiction. Nobody would like it. It is entirely reliant on people approving of the subject. As such, it stands alongside The Buddy Holly Story.

And there's no cows.

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

The Ladykillers

Alexander Mackendrick, 1955

Alec Guinness delivers yet another brilliant comic performance, and shows the breadth of his talent by being an utterly complete character yet unlike any others he played.

And I love it for showing that real Britain, the shonky working class housng where you have a hammer hanging by the sink for banging the pipe to make the water work. This would get on to the screen later in the kitchen-sink dramas of the late 50s and early 60s, but the Ealings are the earliest British films I've seen where life seems real. And their approach to community and authority rings true as well. That is my Britain.

The Ladykillers is another urban Ealing comedy, so, once more, there's no place for cattle. There is consolation to be had in - as with Whisky Galore! - there's some non-plot related random horse action. This particular high quality gratuitous equine scene features Dennis the horse eating a load of apples off Frankie Howerd's cart.

No cows.

Monday, 28 December 2009

Whisky Galore!

Alexander Mackendrick, 1949

Gratuitous shot of three horses walking on a beach, and of course some sheep, but no cows.

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Robin and Marian

Richard Lester, 1976

What a weird pedigree. Richard Lester (A Hard Day's Night, How I Won The War) directing Sean Connery as Robin Hood, Audrey Hepburn as Marian and Ronnie Barker as Friar Tuck.

And it's no merry adventures thing, it's 20 years after as Robin returns from fighting in the crusades and finds Marian's been living in a convent. It's got all the zest you expect from Lester, but with a softened pace.

An unashamedly soppy film, it nonetheless carries a constant ache, it is is about lost time, the way that maturity does not often deliver the answers that youth expects will come. Hepburn's performance - her first in nearly a decade - is wonderful, a constant melancholy behind the eyes counterpointing her poise and wisdom, and there is a powerful feeling of a long love glowing between her and Connery.

Being set in the 12th century, there's a lot of quality livestock living around people. We get goats, pigs and geese, but surprisingly few cattle. But although they only have a minor role, it does at least have considerable prestige, drawing the funeral carriage of Richard the Lionheart.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Deconstructing Harry

Woody Allen 1997

Whilst it's another of Allen's relationship-orientasted films, this has a dark, raw quality that points the way to the later comedy-free thrillers like Match Point and Cassandra's Dream. This harsh view of the world is compunded by a lack of cattle.

No cows.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

A Taste of Honey

Tony Richardson, 1961

Two Smiths lyrics are lifted from this script*, and you can see why. Much as New York City is the only place where Shaft could make sense, so Industrial Manchester should get an Oscar for best supporting actor for A Taste of Honey.

Growing up, the 1960s seemed centuries beyond the 30s, but from today's vantage point they're becoming indistinguishable. The grimy mid-century Britain of Man In The White Suit looks the same as the one in A Taste of Honey, and even Kes is the same thing if you allow for the advent of colour film.

And, as you'd expect for an inner city, there's no cows.

= = = = = = = = =

* 'I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice' from Reel Around The Fountain, and 'the dream has gone but the baby is real' from This Night Has Opened My Eyes.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Shaft's Big Score!

Gordon Parks, 1972

This is the second movie taken from Ernest Tidyman's novels about black New York private detective John Shaft. Strangely they went straight from the first to the third book, for some reason ignoring Shaft Among The Jews.



All credit to director Parks for having a stab at writing a Theme From Shaft stylee follow-up theme tune for this one himself.

This cost a bit more to make than the first Shaft movie largely, one suspects, due to the overused helicopter. Yes, helicopters, cars driving through piles of cardboard boxes, cars ploughing into lines of oil drums, it's practically an I-Spy Book of Cop Show Cliches.

And kinnell, look at the frigging poster!



Helicopter exploding, speedboat, and immensely phallic gun from Shaft's leathered groin. And what an apologist defeated tagline, 'you liked it before so he's back with more'. Why not 'the first one was good and we'd like some more of your money'?

There is a theory that the badness of a movie is proportional to the amount of screentime devoted to helicopters. I'd like to add a bovinity-dearth corollary to that.

No cows.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Shaft

Gordon Parks, 1971

With the cold wintry New York City playing a strong role as supporting actor (can you imagine if this were shot in Cleveland or Huddersfield?), it's a great tense, pacy blaxploitation caper, but let down by a lack of bovinity.

No cows.

Monday, 7 December 2009

Duck Soup

Leo McCarey 1933

"I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thoughts, I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home".

Groucho gets in a good cow gag there, and there is a scene with a horse in bed, but that's as good as it gets on the livestock front.

No cows.

Friday, 4 December 2009

Withnail and I

Bruce Robinson, 1987

A very large and prominent bull 'wants to get down there and have sex with those cows,' giving Marwood a different kind of The Fear.

However, encouraged by Farmer Parkin and with the aid of a cascade of groceries, he sees the bull off and manages to shut that gate and keep it shut.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Harold and Maude

Hal Ashby, 1971

No cows.