Friday, 29 January 2010

Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino, 1994

As fresh, stylish, inventive, playful, and riotously original as you remember it. But Tarantino's never hot on the livestock, is he?

No cows.

Thursday, 28 January 2010

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Milos Forman, 1975

I saw this when I was about 15 and found it immensely powerful. Coming back to it a long time later, it is everything I remembered and more.

Magnificent group performances - so little is told of each patient's story, yet you feel you know it all and see exactly why they fail to function in the world), the subtlety of Nurse Ratchett's delivery, the allegory for the way society's norms will try to snap anyone who won't bend to them. And of course, Jack Nicholson's brilliant cocky lead, reprising many elements of his role in the underrated The Last Detail two years earlier (which was the next thing Hal Ashby directed after the magnificent Harold And Maude).

Cuckoo's Nest swept the Oscars, but then again what does that mean? So did fucking Chicago, whereas Apocalypse Now only picked them up for Best Cinematography and Best Sound.

Anyway, when a film's this good you can forgive it all manner of scenic oversights, even a lack of cattle.

No cows.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Car Wash

Michael Schultz, 1976

This is a lightweight movie, but it's far from worthless.

The sense of post-teen high energy in dead end jobs is leavened with the understated gravitas of ex-con Lonnie. Newly Nation of Islamed Dwayne - now Abdullah - is heavy-handedly characterised until the final scene with Lonnie where they share their sense of inner turmoil that their collegues don't feel. No clumsy moralising or hokey wisdom, but instead a highly plausible and much more affecting simply acknowledgement of their common ground.

But mostly, it's a big bright daft sunshiney film, shot well so that we see the real life city going about its day around them. It's a hurried and caricatured affair, yet also somehow authentic, like finding a snapshot of childhood. And then there's Norman Whitfield's fabulous disco-soul soundtrack.

All set one one sunny Friday afternoon in urban LA, it's as cowless as you'd expect.

No cows.

Monday, 25 January 2010

Children of Men

Alfonso CuarĂ³n, 2006

A vision of the future so convincing, so recognisable, that I'm having problems thinking myself out of treating it as something of an inevitability.

The scene where Kee calls Theo for a private talk is in a barn with cows, which Kee talks about before getting down to the real purpose of their conversation. There are a couple of good off-camera moos in the farmyard too.

Friday, 22 January 2010

A Serious Man

Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009

Another Coen classic. The people in their movies actually look like people instead of polished Hollywood waxjobs, the events always feel realistic even when they're highly implausible, you often don't know if the comedy is really funny or if you're a little confused, and the storytelling is really odd. You've no idea where it's going, where it'll end.

Avatar looked great but fucking hell, you knew everything that was going to happen before you went in didn't you? That Star Wars Lord of the Rings thing.Whereas the Coens don't let you even feel sure about when major characters will bow out or what's a reasonable point to end the story.

But once again they've let the bovophiles in the audience down. Are we really meant to be satisfied with a dead deer? Poor show, boys.

No cows.

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Avatar

James Cameron, 2009

Well, what can livestock you expect of this CGI eye-candyfest, set entirely on another planet? That said, there's some bloody good six legged horses, and in the early scene where the chopper first sets the avatars down in the jungle, a few little goat things dash out of the way as it lands. More goats in movies! Who'd've thunk it?

No cows.

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

No Country for Old Men

Joel and Ethan Coen, 2007

Oh for fuck's sake, so much rural Americana, but where's the fucking cattle?

No cows.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Robinson In Space

Patrick Keiller, 1997

For such a simple documentary I find this very hard to describe in a way that conveys how good it is.

Over the summer of 1995 Keiller toured England, shooting stationary images of industrial and cultural interest. Witty, lefty, evocative and utterly absobing, helped immensely by the comforting, wry Peter Sallisesque voiceover of Paul Scofield.

In the bit where they talk about coal going to Fiddlers Ferry power station there's a lovely shot of an indolent summery herd of friesans cudding.

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Central do Brasil (aka Central Station)

Walter Salles, 1998

Once again, goats get a good look-in. When I started keeping count of the cattle I knew that horses would be all over movies, but I never realised just how many goats there are. Amelie, Very Annie Mary, Robin and Marian, now this. Seven cow movies and four goat ones!

This movie also features donkeys and a pig.

No cows.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Saturday Night Fever

John Badham, 1977

This is such a misunderstood film. Many people dismiss it as kitsch. The majority of these that I come across, when I actually ask them outright, haven't seen the film. Most of the rest have only seen the butchered TV edit that takes out the sex, swearing, drugs and violence.

It's actually a pretty gritty coming of age film, with Tony Manero awash in post-adolescent intense unfocused drive. More than anything, this movie reminds me of Quadrophenia. The dominant music-centred youth cult of the day provides a backdrop for the story and outlet for the protagonist, who moves beyond his shitty job, belittling parents and uncomprehending small minded mates into the wide world; not knowing what he'll do next, only that something else that makes some sense has got to be out there.

Now imagine taking all the sex, drugs, violence and swearing out of Quadrophenia and see what you'd have left. Ignore the TV edit of Saturday Night Fever, it's the 18-certificate version or nothing.

As the movie is set entirely in Brooklyn with a little Manhattan, there's a predictable level of bovine action.

No cows.

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Garth Jennings, 2005

This is another teaser like Chocolat.

In the animation explaining the babel fish we see a farmer and a cow.

Later on, Arthur uses the expression 'till the cows come home' and Zaphod Beeblebrox asks 'what are cows?'. Sadly, he doesn't get an illustrative answer.

No cows.